I had a wet dream about Meryl Streep and I hate that I loved it.

If you didn’t know, Meryl Steep is a beautiful lady and from what I can imagine, a lovely person. 

Before I start, I would like to blame the lychee black tea I had. Caffeine tends to put my very busy mind to a peaceful creative stupor. 

And I’d also like to blame a Nevessa Allen book called The Lunatics. It’s delicious. It unwanted yearning. It’s some good ass shit. I just started and I love it and I want it in movie form. Part of me wants to create the script myself, but I think I should finish the book first then Allen herself.

Anywho, much happened in this dream from:

*oh shit I just remembered something else*

I had a very intense straddling, make out session with a childhood male friend. Brief backstory about him, during our school days we had crushes on each other but never at the same time, then the universe aligned and we finally had the same high school class.

Two days into that we agreed, “nahh”. 

Just buddies. Best buddies. And honestly, from my perspective, he was my bestest buddy at that time. 

• Daytime sleepovers
• First edible experience
• We kinda helped each other get into our first real relationships. (Even though, she hated me, & my bf discovered he was gay, thru me) Story for another time.

Anyways, I was straddling the fuck out of this dude in my mind and HOPE PRAY I wasn’t dry humping my bed in actuality. He’s that type of person where you know the experience will be better in your mind. Not ever acted upon. 

There was another scene with my brother telling my family to hide in the movie theater so my mom jumped into a pile of hotel towels in one of the closets, like full on bellyflop. Don’t ask me why it was there.

There was a scene with food because food is amazing, and deserves a presence everywhere.

And other scenes that are now a blur.

AnyWho, let’s talk about Meryl Streep.

I was walking on a suburban street that was a mix between Hialeah and the Caribbean. Non-HOA houses on both sides one lane in each direction. Enough grass median in between the lanes that cars can park in the middle of the road. 

There was construction, and I was walking past it in the middle road because fuck the sidewalk, if there was one. Besides, I was admiring a yellow bike that looks similar to my bike, parked in front of a very yellow construction truck. It was essentially hiding in plain sight. No lock or nothing. I respect the audacity. Totally shit I’d do with my bike energy.

I crossed over to the sidewalk on my route which was lined with vendors of fruit and other random shit. *Fourth wall break* This is where I should recognize it was a dream because real me would’ve stayed my ass in the middle of the road. The only vendors I tolerate are in Chinatown NY because they mind their own business.

(Quick side tangent about Dunns River Falls Jamaica exit vendors. 

They set up a maze, ON PURPOSE. Clever finesse. I had a love-hate relationship with the foolishness. MAAAAN )

I’m making my way through the tents I noticed a blonde woman of age looking at citrus. My pace barely broke, until I saw ~6 out of place people in dark brown trench coats, flanking her. At a distance, but notably still in her perimeter. 

In the most casual way possible, I did a fail attempt at the robot moonwalk to realign with this mysterious blonde. At first, I thought it was Jane Goodall. Didn’t know if she was into poverty porn but I don’t judge.. aloud. 

The Jane Streep-like woman cast a glance at her surroundings, only hesitating or what I call eye glitching when she saw me. It was brief, like a whisper of a moment, but it was there, AND I SAW IT.

Because dreams, a quarter of a second later she was leaning on the wall blocking my path. 

“Finding anything nice? “ she said, dragging out the nice, like nicceeee.

Me being the overly comfortable friend of strangers I am, I mimicked her lean on the same wall and said, “nothing caught my eye as of yet. Key word: yet”

Because dreams, somehow I’m now under an outdoor dinner tent between her and who I thought was her son, her chatting about Goddess knows what. I’m shifted towards her. No better than a man because my transfixed eyes were blocking sound from reaching my brain. (Don’t think about it too hard)

Don’t get me wrong I was truly and thoroughly appreciating her beautiful face and mind during the gap of time between the vendors and wherever the hell we were at now. 

(Yet, I have eyes. I’m going to appreciate the baddie)

Anyways, my thoughts were on a repeat of “such a pretty little thing.” 

She was wearing one of those flowing dresses with  what I could tell, some random lumps places.. 

Somehow the dress turned into a crop top and skirt, and she showed me where her previous boobs have sagged.

The first two were in line with her belly button. Remind me of a shriveled plum with a raisin nipple on top. Well on the bottom.

(Similar to my real existence) I lead with curiosity, not criticism. 

There was another set off to the side below her armpits. Also quite plum raisin like. Then her present set of boobs. Peachy. In the common location of the chest. 

She said she opted to keep her original and replacement ones, and add the new pairs.

Meryl Streep has six boobs and I was down for it all. 

Next thing I knew, her (I’m assuming) young boyfriend was breathing on my neck while I was…..

(Meryl if you’re reading this, just know you’re an amazing actress, with talent and skill that takes wit, psychology, humor and just a good brain, and if you had six boobs, I’d still be into you) 

Please don’t sue me. This is just a dream of appreciation. Pinky swears.

Also, I can’t afford to be sued. I have no assets. 

I’ll have my little bro cook you a splendid dinner though. Spicy mac & cheese included.

Anyways, like I was saying her.. boyfriend was doing a whisper breathing on my neck and back of my spine that gave me goosebumps and made me hot all at once, and somehow Meryl was straddling me. Stroking my brain with her voice.  I’m kissing on her ribs and tongue grazing her armpit nipple. On God that shit was hot and I have no (some)shame. 

Mind you, we are in a corner booth of a dinner tent. I’m assuming she rented out the tent because no other patrons were in there and the wait staff were back to the entrance like security. I know they couldn’t see, but I could imagine them enjoying the audio ambience. 

She was a very good kisser. And her body was warm divine milky presence. 

I swear, I felt vibrations through my body at whatever ménage à trois was happening, but alas, it was not a dual tip rose causing the lovely sensation, only the landscapers making their rounds outside my window. Jarring me awake. Dazed and Confused. 

THEE End.